I saw this woman on the bus who has the body of a model, face of an angel but you know what was so worth talking about? She's wearing airforce uniform and she dons the 3rd sergeant rank. Wow. i wanted to go over and tell her not to waste time in this service and she will probably fare better being an actress or something.
Last night was spent boozing away. But I hate going Zouk. Stupid fat-asses all around plus all the fucking rude ah lians.
Whatever.
DJ, blow my speakers up.
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Went for a photo-shoot today... haha, can u imagine juniors seeing my face on LEARNet? I don't think they can recognize me because my face is all camouflaged with the green and black creme... like what my friend said, if they can still recognize you then it means your camou skills not up there yet.
I'm in a good mood today because i've a mood swing, how cool is that.
And i finally know the bus service that will get me from Tampines interchange to SAF ferry terminal! Cheers. I love bus 19.
I m trying to buy some computer games for my mac but hearing my friend complaining abt how her mac crashed i guess it's not a good idea...
Ok booking in another few hours time. Hahaha... i'm such an anti-social. but fuck it la, i deserve to be at home.
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Been quite sick lately, even though nobody believes me because i look perfectly healthy. I don't know how to justify myself yet at the same time i can't be bothered... people always choose what they believe.
Anyway why is both blogger and Facebook lagging like shit. I'm seriously pissed. Too many users? I can barely press a link on Facebook without waiting for ten minutes. Most of the time i cannot even enter the main page.
Maybe it's telling me to do something more constructive.
Sometimes i really don't know what i want to do with my life. If i already have everything that i need, then why is it there an urge to ask for more? I'm trapped in this little Singapore cage. Not that i don't appreciate my friends, but i just feel that i need to find more people who actually understand me. Are there such people out there? One who wants to balance everything to the extent he feels so tired, lame and just want to upset some people out there because they disturb my balance, but have no courage anyway. Trying to balance his own character, his own dreams, his own ideals, and at the same time compromising others so that there's a balance in the relationships. Someone who never dared to upset the balance. I want to meet such a person because i want to know how he/she feels.
My sister said i'm zhang san feng, a.k.a the Taiji master because i always try to remain cool when it comes to resolving conflicts... pushing around and trying to minimize all the shouting. The truth is, i'm no taiji master. I am easily pissed as well but i have to act like i 'can't be bothered'... act cool but not cool enough to be that cool, if you get what i mean. What to do? Everyone is like that actually. They get criticized, mocked at and blah blah by so-called friends but how many actually tried being defensive and fuck back? We just endured the shit.
Really admired people like my sis who dares to show her temper every time she's pissed. Cry hard when she's sad. Laugh hard when she's happy. Fuck, i can never do that, i don't know why. Maybe that's not my personality.
I wish i have the courage to tell some people how fucked up they are. Seriously. FUCK YOU! They will never know how sad they make me, and probably never know how bad i want to curse them in their face. If i tell them that they will think i'm crazy because i'm the always a mild-tempered guy. I don't write all these stuff in this dumb ass blog until recently because i know not a lot of people read this space anymore. If they do, then they probably truly want to know what's up with me. That's good, now you guys who still continue reading my blog will know me better.
I like to act as if i dun give a shit about being well-liked. Fact is, i do. If not why do i bother trying to balance everything at the same time.
There are also people u try to reach out. Especially from the past. These are the people who will make you feel that nothing's the same anymore. I'm sad about this too because we used to be great, great friends, but i will never tell them i'm upset because i rather let it be. I just don't understand how can these people be so cold? Are there some misunderstandings that i don't know about?
I always tell myself there will be a reason why a person is behaving differently. But not everyday can i tell myself that. Truth is, i want to tell them "fuck you" but it may be unfair. But fuck you anyway.
One of these days, i m going to get internal injuries. And that may just give me a few days more of MC. Returning back to camp tmr morning... Need to act like i don't give a shit when people call me chao keng king, and actually making a joke out of it. Need to act helpful because i have to amend for my time not being there for them. Need to be a good brother even when they don't even bother trying to pull my bedsheet for me. Need to be a person, deep in my heart, i don't want to be. Maybe this is a form of compromise... so that one day you hope they will do the same back to you even though you know it's unlikely. Dumb-ass, naive and stupid... that's how i keep the balance going.
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Just came back from the movie Bodyguards and Assassins. It's a really depressing movie as you see how different people sacrificed for their own ideals... be it love, revenge, country or revolution. There are no good or bad guys in the show... it's fighting for a better future of the country.
There are some shows that make you want to do something for the country... this movie is definitely one of them. I promise i will train my recruits well, as a 3rd Sergeant in the Singapore Armed Forces. I still remember our specialists' creed.
I'm a specialist in the Singapore Armed Forces, with pride I lead.
I excel in my field, ensure the discipline in my men, and their mission readiness.
I overcome adversity with my fighting spirit, I will defend Singapore with my life.
Ok, i'm not that noble, and i dun think i will be that specialist as described by the creed. But like what our commanders say, we have a rippling effect when it comes to teaching the trainees. They will pass on your positive teachings to others and the water ripple will just spread out radially. If everyone is willing to fight for our own land, i think we will stay strong together no matter what happens.
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I saw this woman on the bus who has the body of a model, face of an angel but you know what was so worth talking about? She's wearing airforce uniform and she dons the 3rd sergeant rank. Wow. i wanted to go over and tell her not to waste time in this service and she will probably fare better being an actress or something.
Last night was spent boozing away. But I hate going Zouk. Stupid fat-asses all around plus all the fucking rude ah lians.
Whatever.
DJ, blow my speakers up.
|
Went for a photo-shoot today... haha, can u imagine juniors seeing my face on LEARNet? I don't think they can recognize me because my face is all camouflaged with the green and black creme... like what my friend said, if they can still recognize you then it means your camou skills not up there yet.
I'm in a good mood today because i've a mood swing, how cool is that.
And i finally know the bus service that will get me from Tampines interchange to SAF ferry terminal! Cheers. I love bus 19.
I m trying to buy some computer games for my mac but hearing my friend complaining abt how her mac crashed i guess it's not a good idea...
Ok booking in another few hours time. Hahaha... i'm such an anti-social. but fuck it la, i deserve to be at home.
|
Been quite sick lately, even though nobody believes me because i look perfectly healthy. I don't know how to justify myself yet at the same time i can't be bothered... people always choose what they believe.
Anyway why is both blogger and Facebook lagging like shit. I'm seriously pissed. Too many users? I can barely press a link on Facebook without waiting for ten minutes. Most of the time i cannot even enter the main page.
Maybe it's telling me to do something more constructive.
Sometimes i really don't know what i want to do with my life. If i already have everything that i need, then why is it there an urge to ask for more? I'm trapped in this little Singapore cage. Not that i don't appreciate my friends, but i just feel that i need to find more people who actually understand me. Are there such people out there? One who wants to balance everything to the extent he feels so tired, lame and just want to upset some people out there because they disturb my balance, but have no courage anyway. Trying to balance his own character, his own dreams, his own ideals, and at the same time compromising others so that there's a balance in the relationships. Someone who never dared to upset the balance. I want to meet such a person because i want to know how he/she feels.
My sister said i'm zhang san feng, a.k.a the Taiji master because i always try to remain cool when it comes to resolving conflicts... pushing around and trying to minimize all the shouting. The truth is, i'm no taiji master. I am easily pissed as well but i have to act like i 'can't be bothered'... act cool but not cool enough to be that cool, if you get what i mean. What to do? Everyone is like that actually. They get criticized, mocked at and blah blah by so-called friends but how many actually tried being defensive and fuck back? We just endured the shit.
Really admired people like my sis who dares to show her temper every time she's pissed. Cry hard when she's sad. Laugh hard when she's happy. Fuck, i can never do that, i don't know why. Maybe that's not my personality.
I wish i have the courage to tell some people how fucked up they are. Seriously. FUCK YOU! They will never know how sad they make me, and probably never know how bad i want to curse them in their face. If i tell them that they will think i'm crazy because i'm the always a mild-tempered guy. I don't write all these stuff in this dumb ass blog until recently because i know not a lot of people read this space anymore. If they do, then they probably truly want to know what's up with me. That's good, now you guys who still continue reading my blog will know me better.
I like to act as if i dun give a shit about being well-liked. Fact is, i do. If not why do i bother trying to balance everything at the same time.
There are also people u try to reach out. Especially from the past. These are the people who will make you feel that nothing's the same anymore. I'm sad about this too because we used to be great, great friends, but i will never tell them i'm upset because i rather let it be. I just don't understand how can these people be so cold? Are there some misunderstandings that i don't know about?
I always tell myself there will be a reason why a person is behaving differently. But not everyday can i tell myself that. Truth is, i want to tell them "fuck you" but it may be unfair. But fuck you anyway.
One of these days, i m going to get internal injuries. And that may just give me a few days more of MC. Returning back to camp tmr morning... Need to act like i don't give a shit when people call me chao keng king, and actually making a joke out of it. Need to act helpful because i have to amend for my time not being there for them. Need to be a good brother even when they don't even bother trying to pull my bedsheet for me. Need to be a person, deep in my heart, i don't want to be. Maybe this is a form of compromise... so that one day you hope they will do the same back to you even though you know it's unlikely. Dumb-ass, naive and stupid... that's how i keep the balance going.
|
Just came back from the movie Bodyguards and Assassins. It's a really depressing movie as you see how different people sacrificed for their own ideals... be it love, revenge, country or revolution. There are no good or bad guys in the show... it's fighting for a better future of the country.
There are some shows that make you want to do something for the country... this movie is definitely one of them. I promise i will train my recruits well, as a 3rd Sergeant in the Singapore Armed Forces. I still remember our specialists' creed.
I'm a specialist in the Singapore Armed Forces, with pride I lead.
I excel in my field, ensure the discipline in my men, and their mission readiness.
I overcome adversity with my fighting spirit, I will defend Singapore with my life.
Ok, i'm not that noble, and i dun think i will be that specialist as described by the creed. But like what our commanders say, we have a rippling effect when it comes to teaching the trainees. They will pass on your positive teachings to others and the water ripple will just spread out radially. If everyone is willing to fight for our own land, i think we will stay strong together no matter what happens.
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NAME
I don't sleep on my own bed.
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